I wrote this a while back. I’ve been meaning to post it, but I just never had the time.

And, still, at times, I find my mind on him. He’s gone, I know, but I still entertain those silly fantasies that we’d someday return to what we were.  Is it you who continues to take this toll on me? Eating at my mind, my… I don’t want to say heart. I want to be able to look you in the eye and tell you you have no place there anymore. But I don’t know if I could ever look you in the eyes again without breaking the barrier I made for myself after you left me so fragile. I’m so open to let someone in at a moments notice, to fill that void you left. And someone did come in. Only to leave again.

I…don’t remember when that was. But it made me think. And today,

There’s too much in my head right now. I wish I could puncture it and let all the bad thoughts bleed out, but there they’ll stay, until I can find something to drown it all out.

365 days ago, I wondered if I could ever live without you. 365 days later, I’m still here. I somehow managed to make it, but has the pain lessened at all?

Sure, there have been distractions. It’s not like I’ve been thinking about you every waking moment of those past 365 days. Just most of them.

I’m not proud that it took me that long to realize that I missed you much more than I resented you. I think I’ve finally learned to forgive and forget, because in the end, it’s not what happened that matters. It’s that we could overcome it. But it may just be too late. You’ve completely vanished from my life. I have no idea where or who you are now. I miss you….but I don’t know if you’ll ever know that. But I guess if it is meant to be, fate will bring my best friend back to me.  Until then,

Happy Birthday, Little Prince. ขอให้เธอมีความสุขเท่านั้น     ฉันก็สุขใจ

And to YOU, you butthead, according to El. xD I hope you know, you’re leading me on =_= and it gives me headaches. Make up your mind already! Don’t keep me guessing. =P And don’t make me do everything =_= I’m tired of being the guy. MEH <3

Goodbye Aek, quick&painless. I’m glad it was that way. If I had let the tears fall, they wouldn’t have stopped. We’ll see each other again k?

Wow I haven’t been on here in a while. Life has been crazy. It’s like we never have any free time, and yet, we have no idea what we spend our time doing. The days drag on and on, but then WHAM….where did first semester go? I have another 5 months before everything changes. It’s almost like it can’t come soon enough, but I haven’t been taking the time to enjoy what’s passing by.
Sadly, I think the only thing I really enjoy doing nowadays is yearbook. I know, freakishly yerd of me, but there’s something soothing in the InDesign pages.